Internal Affairs

My 87-worder “Internal Affairs” is today’s story at Flashshot, so for the next 24 hours or less it can be viewed here, and then for another nine days here. Believe it or not, this piece, short as it is, was actually changed as a result of critiquing by my fellow members of the VWC. The original punchline was:

My doctor withdrew his fingers, took off the latex gloves and looked at me.

“Have you been hanging out with those magicians again?” he said.

which isn’t anywhere near as good. So many thanks to the very talented Dave Weaver for the new, improved version. Dave is another of those members of the VWC who insists on keeping his light under a bushell, and should be submitting a lot more stuff. However, you can find one of his stories, “Finding Uncle”, here. It’s rather good.

5 thoughts on “Internal Affairs

  1. K.C. Ball says:

    Jon: loved the story. It reminded me of one of the regular bits on the old Rocky & Bullwinkle television show. Did the BBC broadcast that American cartoon series?

  2. Mercedes Yardley says:

    Ha, thanks for the nice comment. I’m certainly looking forward to a stellar story by you next week. All hail 52 Stitches! I’m going to throw a party with my three bucks. Pitch in and you can come. 🙂

  3. admin says:

    K.C.: many thanks. I’ve seen an awful lot of cartoons in my time, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen those. You’ve whetted my appetite now 🙂

    Mercedes: All hail 52 Stitches indeed! Sorry, I’m going to invest my $3. There’s this guy I met in the City the other day who’s got this scheme that can’t fail, apparently.

  4. K.C. says:

    Jon: with your sense of humor you must sample Rocky & Bullwinkle.

    It was the creation of Jay Ward, a master of deadpan humor. Rocky was a flying squirrel; Bullwinkle a moose. They lived in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, and had all sorts of serial adventures, usually facing two spies from Pottsylvania, Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale. Boris and Natasha talked with horrible eastern European accents and his favorite expression was “Moose and Squirrel must die.”

    But the show also featured Mr. Peabody, a genius inventor, who just happened to be a dog, and his “boy”, Sherman. Mr. Peabody had invented the Way Back Machine and he and Sherman would travel into the past to discover the “truth” behind historic events.

    There was so much more that has to be seen. Look for it. Just don’t get the live-action movie they made a few years back. Awful!

    If you can’t get it on your side of the pond, let me know and I find something here and send you a DVD in the post.

  5. admin says:

    Come to think of it, I do remember reading reviews of the live-action movie (starring Robert de Niro, or am I hallucinating?) and thinking that it sounded pretty dreadful. OK, you’ve convinced me: I’ll seek R&B out. Although I do have a large pile of unwatched DVDs to get through already 🙁

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