BBC Radio 4 Afternoon Reading, August 18th, 2010 (The Amazing Arnolfini and His Wife)


Competitions I’ve Won Prizes In

3rd prize, Salt Individual Short Story Prize, 2012 (Duo for Oboe and Violin)

Winner, Scott Prize, 2011 (Dot Dash)

3rd prize, Slingink Scribbling Slam, 2010

Shortlisted, Bristol Short Story Prize, 2010 (rZr and Napoleon)

3rd prize, City of Derby Short Story Competition, 2009 (Return to Cairo)

Supplementary prize, Bournemouth Short Story Competition, 2009 (The Problem with Pork)

3rd prize, Calderdale Short Story Competition, 2009 (Possible Side Effects)

1st prize, Earlyworks Press “Old Magic in a New Age” Competition, 2009 (Nature’s Banquet)

2nd prize, Milton Keynes Speakeasy Competition, 2008 (Fishermen’s Tales)

2nd prize, City of Derby Short Story Competition, 2008 (The Amazing Arnolfini and His Wife)

3rd prize, Winchester Writers’ Conference Shorter Short Story Competition, 2008 (Mr Nathwani’s Haiku)

2nd prize, Bournemouth Literary Festival Erotic Writing Competition, 2007 (At Nana’s) [Quote from Mitzi Szereto, the judge: “Sexual description very realistic”, which is probably the best critique I am ever likely to get; more on the joys of writing smut here]

3rd prize, University of Hertfordshire Writing Award, 2007 (Convalescence)

Competitions I’ve Been Listed In

Longlisted, Fish Flash Fiction Competition, 2016 (GAR)

Finalist, Aesthetica Creative Writing Award, 2015 (Adagio Assai)

Longlisted, Short Fiction Prize, 2015 (Financial Engineering, or Whatever Shall We Do With Grandma?)

Longlisted, Fish Short Story Prize, 2014/15 (Financial Engineering, or Whatever Shall We Do With Grandma?)

Honorable mention, The Binnacle Ultra-Short Competition, 2014 (99942 Apophis)

Shortlisted, Fiction Desk Ghost Story Competition, 2013 (A Whole Bloody Century)

Longlisted, Frank O’Connor Short Story Award, 2013 (Dot Dash)

Longlisted, Edge Hill Short Story Prize, 2013 (Dot Dash)

Shortlisted, Bridport Prize, 2012 (The Joy Inside)

Shortlisted, Café Doom 6th Anniversary Competition, 2010 (Symbiosis)

Shortlisted, Seán Ó Faoláin Competition, 2010 (Advice re Elephants)

Shortlisted, JBWB Short Story Competition, Spring 2010 (How I Became a New Man and What Good It Did Me)

Shortlisted, Fish Short Story Competition, 2009/10 (rZr vs Napoleon)

Commended, Southport Writers’ Circle Short Story Competition, 2009 (The Last Words of Emanuel Prettyjohn)

Shortlisted, Global Short Story Competition, September 2009 (The Magnolia Bedroom)

Highly commended, JBWB Short Story Competition, Autumn 2009 (Unquiet)

2nd place, Whittaker Prize, 2009

Commended, Leaf Nano-Fiction Competition, 2009 (Think Tank)

Longlisted, Cadenza Competition, September 2008 (Piss and Patchouli)

Shortlisted, Café Doom 4th Anniversary Competition, 2008 (The Future of Photography)

Runner-up, txtlit, September 2008

Finalist, Poetic Asides Fake Bio Contest, 2008

Highly Commended, JBWB Short Story Competition, Summer 2008 (Catch of the Day)

Longlisted, Cadenza Competition, March 2008 (Somewhat Less Than Thirty Pieces)

Shortlisted, Fish One Page Story Competition, 2008 (Visiting Time)

Longlisted, Fish Short Story Competition, 2007/8 (Meat)

3rd place, Children-in-Need Marathon Flash Competition, 2007 (Dog Mathematics)

Highly Commended, Winchester Writers’ Conference One Page Story Competition, 2007 (Journeys End in Lovers Meeting)

Commended, Winchester Writers’ Conference Writing for Children Competition, 2007 (Paper Chase)

Highly Commended, Ian St James Awards, 1993 (Meat)

Olive Oil, Independent Magazine Writing Competition, 1992 (The Russian Experience)

Champagne, Independent Magazine Writing Competition, 1992 (Winn-E the Pooh)

Stories I’ve Had Published

Generally speaking, it would be wise to anticipate that these pieces contain some adult content. Although it’s only fair to say that if that’s all you’re after, you may be disappointed.

I Think We’re a Clone Now (Reflex Fiction, August 16th, 2017)

GAR (Spelk, April 17th, 2017)

Embarrassing Dad (Funny Bone – Flashing for Comic Relief)

Family Values (A Box of Stars beneath the Bed: National Flash Fiction Day 2016 Anthology)

Phocoena Phocoena (The Pygmy Giant, December 28th, 2015)

Heart of Snow (Every Day Fiction, December 18th, 2015)

Pure Blood (Refugees Welcome Anthology)

Phosphorescence (The Nottingham Review, Issue 2, Winter 2015)

Graffiti (Spelk, December 2nd, 2015)

The Picture of Mrs Tandoğan (Structo 14)

Ultima Thule (Landmarks: National Flash Fiction Day 2015 Anthology)

Hairdressing (.cent, May 27th, 2015)

Ventriloquism for Dummies (Liars’ League, May 12th, 2015)

Limbo (Fine Linen, Spring 2015)

Cinema Date (Stand Up Tragedy, March 27th, 2015)

Sleeping with the Fishes (Cease, Cows, March 16th, 2015)

Hay. Pee. Ah. Wrist. (Unthology 6)

The Canonisation of St Geoff (Pygmy Giant, December 29th, 2014)

The Sixth Generation (Eating My Words: National Flash Fiction Day 2014 Anthology)

The Meaning of the Rabbit (The Stinging Fly, Spring 2014)

The Alternative Electrician (Every Day Fiction, November 25th, 2013)

Wood (Cease, Cows, August 6th, 2013)

Room 31 (Στάχτες, July 24th, 2013)

Oddly Enough, It Wasn’t About Larry Walters At All (Ilanot Review, Summer 2013)

rothko contemplates white over red (Scraps: National Flash Fiction Day 2013 Anthology)

Definitely the Jam (Flash Flood, April 19th, 2013)

The Sculptor’s Mistress (.cent, November 12th, 2012)

The Alternative Electrician (Story Friday, November 16th, 2012)

The Last Words of Emanuel Prettyjohn (Liars’ League, November 13th, 2012)

Camembert (Jawbreakers: National Flash Fiction Day 2012 Anthology)

Just Call Me Stan, He Said (flash365, February 29th, 2012)

Role-Play (Every Day Fiction, January 23rd, 2012)

Rare Meat (Liars’ League, October 12th, 2011)

Dinner with Sylvia (The Battered Suitcase, Autumn 2011)

Value for Money (The Right-Eyed Deer Issue 7, September 2011)

The Unsleepers (The View From Here, August 5th, 2011)

Special Relativity (Eclectica, July/August 2011)

Hidden Shallows (The Best of Every Day Fiction Three)

The Colour of Criticism (The Best of Every Day Fiction Three)

The Wrong Bots (100 Stories for Queensland, May 2011)

Symbiosis (Escape Velocity Anthology, April 2011)

Cock Up (Every Day Fiction Podcast #53)

The Language of Angels (Eclectic Flash Voices, January 2010)

Pioneer (The Sixty, April 2011)

Teamwork (Murky Depths 16, April 2011)

Advice re Elephants (Metazen, March 14th, 2011)

Fly on the Wall (The Pygmy Giant, March 12th, 2011)

Around the Block (Every Day Fiction, February 21st, 2011)

Ariadne and Her Lover (Sparks 12, February 1st, 2011)

The Language of Angels (Best of Eclectic Flash 2010, January 2011)

Consequences (National Short Story Week, November 25th, 2010)

The Amazing Arnolfini and His Wife (Ether Books, November 2010)

The Birdman of Farringdon Road (Ether Books, November 2010)

Advice re Elephants (Sparks 11, November 2nd, 2010)

Desert Culture (Sparks 11, November 2nd, 2010)

O (M is for Monster, October 2010)

Desert Culture (50 Stories for Pakistan, October 2010)

Convalescence (Ether Books, October 2010)

Ello, ‘Ello, What’s All This Ear, Then? (Sparks 10, September 7th, 2010)

Oh, How She Changed! (Everyday Weirdness, August 9th, 2010)

The Wrong Thing to Say (Fifty-Two Stitches, August 1st, 2010)

The Colour of Criticism (Every Day Fiction, July 17th, 2010)

Piss and Patchouli (Litro, May 2010)

Mirror, Mirror (The Best of Every Day Fiction Two)

Opening the Box (The Best of Every Day Fiction Two)

Opposites (Vestal Review Dirty Dozen, January 2010)

The Language of Angels (Eclectic FlashJanuary 2010)

Farewell Symphony (The Rhinocerous and His Thoughts: The Best of the Whittaker Prize 2009)

The Magnolia Bedroom (The Rhinocerous and His Thoughts: The Best of the Whittaker Prize 2009)

The Greatest Disciple (Fifty-Two Stitches, December 27th, 2009)

The Miracle at Hightop Farm (The 12 Days of Christmas, December 21st, 2009)

An Unsuitable Replacement (Nothing to Dread: A Niteblade Anthology)

Canine Mathematics (Sparks 6, November 3rd, 2009)

What Today’s Well-Dressed Mind Parasite is Wearing (Fifty-Two Stitches, September 27th, 2009)

Natural Selection (Short Story Radio)

Hidden Shallows (Every Day Fiction, September 1st, 2009)

‘Ello, ‘Ello, What’s All This Ear, Then? (Gloom Cupboard, August 31st, 2009)

What Jesus Said (Residential Aliens, August 2009)

Borges’ Labyrinth (10Flash, Issue 1, July 1st, 2009)

Ignorance of Chemistry (Every Day Fiction, May 29th, 2009)

Farewell Symphony (Tales of the Decongested, April 24th, 2009)

Opening the Box (Every Day Fiction, April 23rd, 2009)

A Plague of Yellow Plastic Ducks (The Abacot Journal, Spring 2009)

Rebel Without Applause (The Right-Eyed Deer Issue 2, April 2009)

After Michelangelo (What Stirs the Spring, Obstacle Productions, March/April, 2009)

The Birdman of Farringdon Road (Litro, March 2009)

Post- (Flash Scribe, March 18th, 2009)

Welcome to the Hive (Flash Scribe, March 9th, 2009)

Desert Culture (Bewildering Stories, February 16th, 2009)

Mirror, Mirror (Every Day Fiction, February 2nd, 2009)

Breathe In, Breathe Out (Greyling Bay, January 19th, 2009)

Anniversary Feast (Fifty-Two Stitches, January 11th, 2009)

Internal Affairs (Flashshot, January 3rd, 2009)

Somewhat Less Then Thirty Pieces (The Right-Eyed Deer Issue 1, January 2009)

After Michelangelo (A Winter’s Chill, Obstacle Productions, December, 2008)

The Truth About Uncle Joe (The Oddville Press, Volume One, Issue 2, December 2008)

Dislocation (Scratching at Cardboard: The Best of the Whittaker Prize 2008)

Interview with a Zombie (Gene Genii Anthology, December 2008)

Interior Design (Gene Genii Anthology, December 2008)

An Unsuitable Replacement (Niteblade, December 2008)

Restorative Justice (Twisted Tongue Issue 12, November 2008)

Misunderstandings (Tuesday Shorts, November 25th, 2008)

Sweet Sticky Thing (MicroHorror, November 5th, 2008)

Visiting Time (Every Day Fiction, October 15th, 2008)

After Michelangelo (Necrotic Tissue Issue 4, October 2008)

Mathematical Puzzles and Diversions (Liars’ League, September 2008)

The Solution to the Problem (Dog Versus Sandwich, August 18th, 2008)

Frogs (Adrian Graham, August 6th, 2008)

Cock Up (Every Day Fiction, July 28th, 2008)

The Guitarist’s Inheritance (apt Issue 16, July 2008)

The Patience of a Saint (Liars’ League, July 2008)

Tribute Act (Six Sentences, July 5th, 2008)

So What Are You Up To These Days? (Six Sentences, May 23rd, 2008)

Canine Mathematics (Smokebox Issue 52, April 2008)

Convalescence (University of Hertfordshire anthology, Vision, 2007)

Accidental Death of a Manager (Freelance Informer, January 4th, 1994) [In case you’re wondering why the long break between 1994 and 2007, well, I’m wondering too; maybe this lot has something to do with it]

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