The Todger Squad

From Archiepyedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Todger Squad are a bunch of blokes who almost certainly think of themselves as 'bloody good chaps' with a fondness for off-colour jokes and 'just a bit of banter, love'. Alternative opinions are also available. A significant part of the skillset required of a member of the squad is the ability to flick a pork scratching into one's mouth, and - to be fair - you never know when this may turn out to be useful. They have come together on the occasion of the forthcoming nuptials of one of their members, who goes under the name of Furball for the purposes of his stag weekend on Channellia.

List of Members

The following is a complete list of the Todger Squad at the time of the Channellia Stag Weekend. You can easily tell which one is which, because they have their names emblazoned on their matching rugby shirts.

  • Badger Pubes
  • Furball (groom)
  • Gobshite
  • Ham & Tongue (best man)
  • Pisspot
  • Tampon
  • The Jizz Bandit
  • Titface

The only real names that are known for certain are 'Mr Kerrigan'[1] (Ham & Tongue) and Piers Handforth (Titface).


  1. This is a reference to a cock-up in the acknowledgements section of The Truth About Archie and Pye, where I referred to one of my erstwhile tutors at Bath Spa University as Richard Kerrigan rather than Richard Kerridge. Fortunately, he almost certainly hasn't read the book, so he won't have noticed.