Difference between revisions of "George Wickham"
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[[File:Wickham.jpg|thumb|The only known depiction of George Wickham, believed to be drawn from life by the celebrated artist [[Mr Macapple Gimp, RA]]]] | [[File:Wickham.jpg|thumb|The only known depiction of George Wickham, believed to be drawn from life by the celebrated artist [[Mr Macapple Gimp, RA]]]] | ||
| − | '''George Elvis deLonghi <font face="webdings"></font> Wickham''' (7 August <font face="webdings"></font> – 23 February <font face="webdings"></font>) was a noted English alien hunter. He was briefly associated with the author [[Jane Austen]], although their relationship ended in some acrimony, resulting in the unflattering portrayal of him in her controversial novel [ | + | '''George Elvis deLonghi <font face="webdings"></font> Wickham''' (7 August <font face="webdings"></font> – 23 February <font face="webdings"></font>) was a noted English alien hunter. He was briefly associated with the author [[Jane Austen]], although their relationship ended in some acrimony, resulting in the unflattering portrayal of him in her controversial novel ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride_and_Prejudice Pride and Prejudice]''. Very little other information about Wickham is in the public domain. He is rumoured to have made over a thousand kills{{citation needed}} and was awarded the Order of the <font face="webdings"></font>, the highest accolade for bravery in the face of tentacles. He was fluent in French, East Westphalian and [[kk'Ekk]]. |
==Early career== | ==Early career== | ||
| + | Wickham <font face="webdings"> </font> Peninsular War. This brought him to the attention of Colonel [[Ronald Sutherland|<font face="webdings"></font>]], who asked him to join his team at the [[Department for Unusual Affairs]]. His first assignment was to <font face="webdings"> . </font> dressed as a puffin <font face="webdings"> </font> without his trousers. Following the success of this mission, Wickham was <font face="webdings">, </font> in order to protect [[Lydia Bennet]]. However, <font face="webdings"> </font> and <font face="webdings"> ; </font>vanished without further trace. | ||
| − | + | ==The first alien war== | |
| + | Whilst searching for Lydia, <font face="webdings"> </font> in Whitechapel. <font face="webdings"> </font> [[Annie Chapman]] <font face="webdings"> </font> "Prussian style" <font face="webdings"> </font> in a back passage off Pox Lane. <font face="webdings"> </font> [[Reverend William Smallpiece Collins]], <font face="webdings"> </font> mission for fallen women <font face="webdings"> </font> [[Lady Catherine de Bourgh]]. The unfortunate consequence of this was that <font face="webdings"> , , </font> and [[Mrs Elizabeth Darcy]] <font face="webdings"> </font>{{citation needed}}. | ||
| − | {{ | + | Shortly after this, <font face="webdings"> </font> [[Lord Byron]] <font face="webdings"> </font> utter filth. <font face="webdings"> , , </font> like coconuts. But he was unable to enjoy this brief respite, because almost immediately <font face="webdings"> </font>. So Wickham immediately set off for <font face="webdings"> </font>. |
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| + | After rescuing <font face="webdings"> </font> Midsummer Ball <font face="webdings"> !</font> Fortunately, no-one was injured in the incident, although <font face="webdings"> </font> studded leather codpiece. In the ensuing confusion, Wickham <font face="webdings"> </font> trussed up like a chicken. Accompanied by [[Sir Humphrey Davy]], Wickham was now able to <font face="webdings"> </font> shaped like a herring, and <font face="webdings"> </font> burnt to the ground. | ||
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| + | As a result of this success, Wickham was promoted to <font face="webdings"></font> and given command of <font face="webdings"> </font>. | ||
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| + | ==The second alien war== | ||
| + | Information on Wickham's involvement in this is sparse. However, what is known is that <font face="webdings"> . , . : . . ! ? , . - . ; , . , . , , , . | ||
| + | |||
| + | ; " " . . . : . . . , . : | ||
| + | |||
| + | {{quote|the flatulence of a September baboon{{citation needed}}.}} | ||
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| + | <font face="webdings"> , . ; , . , , , , . ! </font>{{citation needed}}. <font face="webdings"> . ; , . . - . , . </font>, still firmly wedged in the jar of pickles. | ||
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| + | ==Later life== | ||
| + | In later life, Wickham retired to the country, where he lived out his years in peaceful contemplation, accompanied by <font face="webdings"></font>, his faithful <font face="webdings"></font>. | ||
Latest revision as of 15:07, 5 August 2011
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This article has been redacted under the 300-year rule. Please do not attempt to add further information as this may result in a lengthy prison sentence. |
George Elvis deLonghi Wickham (7 August – 23 February ) was a noted English alien hunter. He was briefly associated with the author Jane Austen, although their relationship ended in some acrimony, resulting in the unflattering portrayal of him in her controversial novel Pride and Prejudice. Very little other information about Wickham is in the public domain. He is rumoured to have made over a thousand kills[citation needed] and was awarded the Order of the , the highest accolade for bravery in the face of tentacles. He was fluent in French, East Westphalian and kk'Ekk.
Early career
Wickham Peninsular War. This brought him to the attention of Colonel , who asked him to join his team at the Department for Unusual Affairs. His first assignment was to . dressed as a puffin without his trousers. Following the success of this mission, Wickham was , in order to protect Lydia Bennet. However, and ; vanished without further trace.
The first alien war
Whilst searching for Lydia, in Whitechapel. Annie Chapman "Prussian style" in a back passage off Pox Lane. Reverend William Smallpiece Collins, mission for fallen women Lady Catherine de Bourgh. The unfortunate consequence of this was that , , and Mrs Elizabeth Darcy [citation needed].
Shortly after this, Lord Byron utter filth. , , like coconuts. But he was unable to enjoy this brief respite, because almost immediately . So Wickham immediately set off for .
After rescuing Midsummer Ball ! Fortunately, no-one was injured in the incident, although studded leather codpiece. In the ensuing confusion, Wickham trussed up like a chicken. Accompanied by Sir Humphrey Davy, Wickham was now able to shaped like a herring, and burnt to the ground.
As a result of this success, Wickham was promoted to and given command of .
The second alien war
Information on Wickham's involvement in this is sparse. However, what is known is that . , . : . . ! ? , . - . ; , . , . , , , .
; " " . . . : . . . , . :
the flatulence of a September baboon[citation needed].
, . ; , . , , , , . ! [citation needed]. . ; , . . - . , . , still firmly wedged in the jar of pickles.
Later life
In later life, Wickham retired to the country, where he lived out his years in peaceful contemplation, accompanied by , his faithful .
