http://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&feed=atom&action=historyReturn to Cairo - Revision history2024-03-28T15:13:24ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.32.1http://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=391&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Notes */2014-06-20T07:55:57Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Notes</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>I think the (unnamed) protagonist of this story is my favourite character out of all the ones I've created so far: feisty and foul-mouthed but caring. The film ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Bye,_Lenin! Good Bye, Lenin!]'' was almost certainly an influence on the central idea of creating an artificial world for the benefit of someone, although in this case, it turns out that it's not a world that Nan's ever known at all. I think I might also have been thinking of the opening sequence of </div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>I think the (unnamed) protagonist of this story is my favourite character out of all the ones I've created so far: feisty and foul-mouthed but caring. The film ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Bye,_Lenin! Good Bye, Lenin!]'' was almost certainly an influence on the central idea of creating an artificial world for the benefit of someone, although in this case, it turns out that it's not a world that Nan's ever known at all. I think I might also have been thinking of the opening sequence of </div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot]'' where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot]'' where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;"></ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">The one thing I'm not sure about is the use of Johnny (actually older than Nigel Farage) Depp as a fantasy figure. I would have liked to have used someone a bit younger, but the trouble is, you can never tell if these kids are ever going to have any staying power.</ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>Here's the terrible original version of the penultimate couple of paragraphs:</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>Here's the terrible original version of the penultimate couple of paragraphs:</div></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=390&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Inspiration */2014-06-20T07:54:17Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Inspiration</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Inspiration===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Inspiration===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>'''Return to Cairo''' was originally written for Round Five of the 2009 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]''. The prompt used, believe it or not, was a video of Jon and Vangelis performing ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Friends_of_Mr_Cairo The Friends of Mr Cairo]''. It was given a score of 81/100 by the judge, Geoff Nelder, putting it in <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">2nd </del>equal place out of 21. The judge commented that <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">"</del>the <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">voice is the strongest element in this story with teen angst and behaviour</del>, <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">along with underlying passion </del>and <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">care coming over very well. A mystery is set in the opening and is resolved by the end. The end is weak - I’d </del>have liked the aunt at the funeral to reveal that Nan really meant Cairo to be a favourite café she used to visit in her youth on Kyle Row in Middleton <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">but there’s me re-writing other people’s stories</del>.<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">" </del>He was spot on <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">about the ending</del>.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>'''Return to Cairo''' was originally written for Round Five of the 2009 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]''. The prompt used, believe it or not, was a video of Jon and Vangelis performing ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Friends_of_Mr_Cairo The Friends of Mr Cairo]''. It was given a score of 81/100 by the judge, Geoff Nelder, putting it in <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">second </ins>equal place out of 21. The judge commented that the <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">end was weak</ins>, and <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">he’d </ins>have liked the aunt at the funeral to reveal that Nan really meant Cairo to be a favourite café she used to visit in her youth on Kyle Row in Middleton. He was spot on <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">there</ins>.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Placings===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Placings===</div></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=284&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Placings */2014-06-19T23:05:03Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Placings</span></span></p>
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<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #222; text-align: center;">Revision as of 23:05, 19 June 2014</td>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Placings===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Placings===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>After duly changing the ending along very similar lines to those suggested, '''Return to Cairo''' came 3rd in the 2009 ''<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">[[</del>City of Derby Writing Competition<del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">]]</del>'', judged by [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sara_Maitland Sara Maitland].</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>After duly changing the ending along very similar lines to those suggested, '''Return to Cairo''' came 3rd in the 2009 ''City of Derby Writing Competition'', judged by [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sara_Maitland Sara Maitland].</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Notes===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Notes===</div></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=191&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Inspiration */2014-06-17T17:45:24Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Inspiration</span></span></p>
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<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #222; text-align: center;">Revision as of 17:45, 17 June 2014</td>
</tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno" id="mw-diff-left-l1" >Line 1:</td>
<td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno">Line 1:</td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Inspiration===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Inspiration===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>'''Return to Cairo''' was originally written for Round <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Four </del>of the 2009 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]''. The prompt used, believe it or not, was a video of Jon and Vangelis performing ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Friends_of_Mr_Cairo The Friends of Mr Cairo]''. It was given a score of 81/100 by the judge, Geoff Nelder, putting it in 2nd equal place out of 21. The judge commented that "the voice is the strongest element in this story with teen angst and behaviour, along with underlying passion and care coming over very well. A mystery is set in the opening and is resolved by the end. The end is weak - I’d have liked the aunt at the funeral to reveal that Nan really meant Cairo to be a favourite café she used to visit in her youth on Kyle Row in Middleton but there’s me re-writing other people’s stories." He was spot on about the ending.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>'''Return to Cairo''' was originally written for Round <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Five </ins>of the 2009 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]''. The prompt used, believe it or not, was a video of Jon and Vangelis performing ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Friends_of_Mr_Cairo The Friends of Mr Cairo]''. It was given a score of 81/100 by the judge, Geoff Nelder, putting it in 2nd equal place out of 21. The judge commented that "the voice is the strongest element in this story with teen angst and behaviour, along with underlying passion and care coming over very well. A mystery is set in the opening and is resolved by the end. The end is weak - I’d have liked the aunt at the funeral to reveal that Nan really meant Cairo to be a favourite café she used to visit in her youth on Kyle Row in Middleton but there’s me re-writing other people’s stories." He was spot on about the ending.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Placings===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Placings===</div></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=190&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Notes */2014-06-17T17:41:05Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Notes</span></span></p>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot]'' where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot]'' where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Oh, and here</del>'s <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">that </del>original <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">terrible bit near </del>the <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">end</del>:</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">Here</ins>'s <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">the terrible </ins>original <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">version of </ins>the <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">penultimate couple of paragraphs</ins>:</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.</div></td></tr>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>“Don’t be daft. She never left the country.” Then she pauses for a moment. “Mind you, she did like to read about Egypt. She loved that Agatha Christie one – what was it? – ‘Death on the Nile’. That sort of thing.”}}</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>“Don’t be daft. She never left the country.” Then she pauses for a moment. “Mind you, she did like to read about Egypt. She loved that Agatha Christie one – what was it? – ‘Death on the Nile’. That sort of thing.”}}</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>And this is what <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">it </del>became:</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>And this is what <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">they </ins>became:</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.</div></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=189&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Notes */2014-06-17T17:40:14Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Notes</span></span></p>
<table class="diff diff-contentalign-left" data-mw="interface">
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<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #222; text-align: center;">Revision as of 17:40, 17 June 2014</td>
</tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno" id="mw-diff-left-l6" >Line 6:</td>
<td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno">Line 6:</td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Notes===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Notes===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>I think the (unnamed) protagonist of this story is my favourite character out of all the ones I've created so far: feisty and foul-mouthed but caring. The film [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Bye,_Lenin! Good Bye, Lenin!] was almost certainly an influence on the central idea of creating an artificial world for the benefit of someone, although in this case, it turns out that it's not a world that Nan's ever known at all. I think I might also have been thinking of the opening sequence of </div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>I think the (unnamed) protagonist of this story is my favourite character out of all the ones I've created so far: feisty and foul-mouthed but caring. The film <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">''</ins>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Bye,_Lenin! Good Bye, Lenin!]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">'' </ins>was almost certainly an influence on the central idea of creating an artificial world for the benefit of someone, although in this case, it turns out that it's not a world that Nan's ever known at all. I think I might also have been thinking of the opening sequence of </div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot] where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">''</ins>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot]<ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">'' </ins>where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>Oh, and here's that original terrible bit near the end:</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>Oh, and here's that original terrible bit near the end:</div></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=188&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Notes */2014-06-17T17:39:30Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Notes</span></span></p>
<table class="diff diff-contentalign-left" data-mw="interface">
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<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #222; text-align: center;">← Older revision</td>
<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #222; text-align: center;">Revision as of 17:39, 17 June 2014</td>
</tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno" id="mw-diff-left-l6" >Line 6:</td>
<td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno">Line 6:</td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Notes===</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>===Notes===</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>I think the (unnamed) protagonist of this story is my favourite character out of all the ones I've created so far: feisty but caring. The film [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Bye,_Lenin! Good Bye, Lenin!] was almost certainly an influence on the central idea of creating an artificial world for the benefit of someone, although in this case, it turns out that it's not a world that Nan's ever known at all. I think I might also have been thinking of the opening sequence of </div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>I think the (unnamed) protagonist of this story is my favourite character out of all the ones I've created so far: feisty <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">and foul-mouthed </ins>but caring. The film [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Bye,_Lenin! Good Bye, Lenin!] was almost certainly an influence on the central idea of creating an artificial world for the benefit of someone, although in this case, it turns out that it's not a world that Nan's ever known at all. I think I might also have been thinking of the opening sequence of </div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot] where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot] where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=187&oldid=prevJonathan: /* Notes */2014-06-17T17:38:55Z<p><span dir="auto"><span class="autocomment">Notes</span></span></p>
<table class="diff diff-contentalign-left" data-mw="interface">
<col class="diff-marker" />
<col class="diff-content" />
<col class="diff-marker" />
<col class="diff-content" />
<tr class="diff-title" lang="en-GB">
<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #222; text-align: center;">← Older revision</td>
<td colspan="2" style="background-color: #fff; color: #222; text-align: center;">Revision as of 17:38, 17 June 2014</td>
</tr><tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno" id="mw-diff-left-l9" >Line 9:</td>
<td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno">Line 9:</td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot] where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot] where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>Oh, and here's that original terrible <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">ending</del>:</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>Oh, and here's that original terrible <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">bit near the end</ins>:</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno" id="mw-diff-left-l15" >Line 15:</td>
<td colspan="2" class="diff-lineno">Line 15:</td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>“Don’t be daft. She never left the country.” Then she pauses for a moment. “Mind you, she did like to read about Egypt. She loved that Agatha Christie one – what was it? – ‘Death on the Nile’. That sort of thing.”}}</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div>“Don’t be daft. She never left the country.” Then she pauses for a moment. “Mind you, she did like to read about Egypt. She loved that Agatha Christie one – what was it? – ‘Death on the Nile’. That sort of thing.”}}</div></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background-color: #f8f9fa; color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #eaecf0; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"></td></tr>
<tr><td class='diff-marker'>−</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #ffe49c; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">The final one </del>is a <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">hell </del>of <del class="diffchange diffchange-inline">a lot better</del>.</div></td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">And this </ins>is <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">what it became:</ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div> </div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.</ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div> </div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">“Don’t be daft. She never left England.” Then she pauses for </ins>a <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">moment. “Nah, the nearest she ever got was a cup </ins>of <ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">tea in the Cairo Café in the old arcade. You’re probably too young to remember it, aren’t you? Nice little place. Pictures of the pyramids on the walls. Used to do lovely macaroons.”}}</ins></div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div> </div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="color: #222; font-size: 88%; border-style: solid; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 4px; border-radius: 0.33em; border-color: #a3d3ff; vertical-align: top; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div><ins class="diffchange diffchange-inline">I think I know which version I prefer</ins>.</div></td></tr>
</table>Jonathanhttp://www.jonathanpinnock.com/wiki_dotdash/index.php?title=Return_to_Cairo&diff=186&oldid=prevJonathan: Created page with "===Inspiration=== '''Return to Cairo''' was originally written for Round Four of the 2009 ''Whittaker Prize''. The prompt used, believe it or not, was a video of Jon and V..."2014-06-17T17:37:08Z<p>Created page with "===Inspiration=== '''Return to Cairo''' was originally written for Round Four of the 2009 ''<a href="/wiki_dotdash/index.php/Whittaker_Prize" class="mw-redirect" title="Whittaker Prize">Whittaker Prize</a>''. The prompt used, believe it or not, was a video of Jon and V..."</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>===Inspiration===<br />
'''Return to Cairo''' was originally written for Round Four of the 2009 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]''. The prompt used, believe it or not, was a video of Jon and Vangelis performing ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Friends_of_Mr_Cairo The Friends of Mr Cairo]''. It was given a score of 81/100 by the judge, Geoff Nelder, putting it in 2nd equal place out of 21. The judge commented that "the voice is the strongest element in this story with teen angst and behaviour, along with underlying passion and care coming over very well. A mystery is set in the opening and is resolved by the end. The end is weak - I’d have liked the aunt at the funeral to reveal that Nan really meant Cairo to be a favourite café she used to visit in her youth on Kyle Row in Middleton but there’s me re-writing other people’s stories." He was spot on about the ending.<br />
<br />
===Placings===<br />
After duly changing the ending along very similar lines to those suggested, '''Return to Cairo''' came 3rd in the 2009 ''[[City of Derby Writing Competition]]'', judged by [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sara_Maitland Sara Maitland].<br />
<br />
===Notes===<br />
I think the (unnamed) protagonist of this story is my favourite character out of all the ones I've created so far: feisty but caring. The film [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Bye,_Lenin! Good Bye, Lenin!] was almost certainly an influence on the central idea of creating an artificial world for the benefit of someone, although in this case, it turns out that it's not a world that Nan's ever known at all. I think I might also have been thinking of the opening sequence of <br />
[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Elliot Billy Elliot] where Billy has to track down and care for his errant nan.<br />
<br />
Oh, and here's that original terrible ending:<br />
<br />
{{quote|Afterwards, I get chatting to my Great Aunt Mabel, and I ask her about Nan going to Cairo. She laughs.<br />
<br />
“Don’t be daft. She never left the country.” Then she pauses for a moment. “Mind you, she did like to read about Egypt. She loved that Agatha Christie one – what was it? – ‘Death on the Nile’. That sort of thing.”}}<br />
<br />
The final one is a hell of a lot better.</div>Jonathan