Advice re Elephants - Revision history

Jonathan at 13:04, 11 August 2017

2017-08-11T13:04:26Z

Jonathan: /* Performances */

2014-06-20T08:00:46Z

Performances

Jonathan: /* Performances */

2014-06-19T23:41:04Z

Performances

Jonathan: /* Placings */

2014-06-19T23:40:17Z

Placings

Jonathan: /* Inspiration */

2014-06-19T23:39:31Z

Inspiration

Jonathan: /* Publications */

2014-06-19T23:38:59Z

Publications

Jonathan: /* Notes */

2014-06-19T15:51:59Z

Notes

Jonathan: /* Notes */

2014-06-19T15:50:59Z

Notes

Jonathan: /* Notes */

2014-06-19T15:48:57Z

Notes

Jonathan: /* Notes */

2014-06-19T15:46:22Z

Notes

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 ===Inspiration===
-'''Advice re Elephants''' was originally written for was originally written for Round Nine of the 2010 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]'', albeit in the ''poetry'' section. No prompt was used. It was given a score of 86/100 by the judge, Catherine Edmunds, putting it 11th out of 19 entrants. The judge commented that it was somewhat lacking in poetic devices and would work just as well as a prose piece. I took her advice.
+'''Advice re Elephants''' was originally written for Round Nine of the 2010 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]'', albeit in the ''poetry'' section. No prompt was used. It was given a score of 86/100 by the judge, Catherine Edmunds, putting it 11th out of 19 entrants. The judge commented that it was somewhat lacking in poetic devices and would work just as well as a prose piece. I took her advice.
 ===Placings===

@@ Line 9: / Line 9: @@
 ===Performances===
-I've read this piece on many occasions, as it seems to work well as a live piece. The first time was at ''Sparks'' in Brighton on November 2nd, 2011.
+I've read this on many occasions, as it seems to work well as a live piece. The first time was at ''Sparks'' in Brighton on November 2nd, 2011.
 ===Notes===

@@ Line 9: / Line 9: @@
 ===Performances===
-I've read this piece on many occasions, as it seems to work well as a live piece. The first time was at ''[[Sparks]]'' in Brighton on November 2nd, 2011.
+I've read this piece on many occasions, as it seems to work well as a live piece. The first time was at ''Sparks'' in Brighton on November 2nd, 2011.
 ===Notes===

@@ Line 3: / Line 3: @@
 ===Placings===
-Duly reworked as a short story, '''Advice re Elephants''' was shortlisted for the 2010 ''[[Seán Ó Faoláin Competition]]'', judged by [http://www.taniahershman.com Tania Hershman].
+Duly reworked as a short story, '''Advice re Elephants''' was shortlisted for the 2010 ''[http://www.munsterlit.ie/SOF%20Page.html Seán Ó Faoláin Competition]'', judged by [http://www.taniahershman.com Tania Hershman].
 ===Publications===

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 ===Inspiration===
-'''Advice re Elephants''' was originally written for was originally written for Round Nine of the 2010 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]'', albeit in the ''poetry'' section. No prompt was used. It was given a score of 86/100 by the judge, Catherine Edmunds, putting it 11th out of 19 entrants. The judge commented that it "was hugely entertaining, if somewhat lacking in poetic devices", and that it "would work just as well as a prose piece." I took her advice.
+'''Advice re Elephants''' was originally written for was originally written for Round Nine of the 2010 ''[[Whittaker Prize]]'', albeit in the ''poetry'' section. No prompt was used. It was given a score of 86/100 by the judge, Catherine Edmunds, putting it 11th out of 19 entrants. The judge commented that it was somewhat lacking in poetic devices and would work just as well as a prose piece. I took her advice.
 ===Placings===

@@ Line 6: / Line 6: @@
 ===Publications===
-After a small amount of editing to overcome a minor ambiguity, '''Advice re Elephants''' was published in ''[[Metazen]]'' on March 14th, 2011.
+After a small amount of editing to overcome a minor ambiguity, '''Advice re Elephants''' was published in ''[http://www.metazen.ca Metazen]'' on March 14th, 2011.
 ===Performances===

@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
 ===Notes===
-This is another of those pieces, like [[Frogs]], where I've taken a metaphor and treated it as if it was real, to see where the logic of that took me. It can be quite a fruitful line of enquiry.
+This is another of those pieces, like [[Frogs]], where I've taken a metaphor and treated it as if it were a real thing, to see where the logic of that took me. It can be quite a fruitful line of enquiry.
 This is what the original poem looked like, by the way:

@@ Line 57: / Line 57: @@
 I reflected that the advice
 you find on the Internet
-is often quite surprising.</poem>
+is often quite surprising.</poem>}}

@@ Line 16: / Line 16: @@
 This is what the original poem looked like, by the way:
-{{quote|There was no mistaking it. An}}
+{{quote|<poem>There was no mistaking it. An
-{{quote|elephant had parked itself}}
+elephant had parked itself
-{{quote|in our living space.}}
+in our living space.
-{{quote|To be precise, it was an}}
+To be precise, it was an
-{{quote|African elephant. I knew this}}
+African elephant. I knew this
-{{quote|because of the ears.}}
+because of the ears.
-{{quote|I asked her what we were going
+I asked her what we were going
 to do about it, and the answer
 was along the lines of
 just get rid of the fucking thing
 before it dumps any more shit
-on the carpet.}}
+on the carpet.
-{{quote|So I did what any man would do
+So I did what any man would do
 and Googled. This was the advice that
 I was given when I asked for
 suggestions as to what to do about
-an elephant in the room:}}
+an elephant in the room:
-{{quote|Take a deep breath and climb
+Take a deep breath and climb
 aboard. Speak reassuring words
 into its ear and then urge it
-to charge}}
+to charge
-{{quote|through the walls onto the plain,
+through the walls onto the plain,
 then ride it to the water hole
 and lie down and watch the sunset
-amid the warthogs and baboons}}
+amid the warthogs and baboons
-{{quote|and when the sky is dark,
+and when the sky is dark,
 make wild animalistic love
 to that woman next to you
 (remember her?) and then
 fall asleep together
-beneath the twinkling stars.}}
+beneath the twinkling stars.
-{{quote|As we breakfasted next day
+As we breakfasted next day
 in the ruins of our cottage,
 I reflected that the advice
 you find on the Internet
-is often quite surprising.}}
+is often quite surprising.</poem>