Difference between revisions of "George Burgess"

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'''George Burgess''' was a writer of indifferent ability whose primary claim to fame was as the putative biographer of [[Archimedes and Pythagoras Vavasor]]. However, he died before the project was complete and the current whereabouts of the unfinished manuscript are uncertain.
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'''George Burgess''' was a Swindon-based writer of indifferent ability whose primary claim to fame was as the putative biographer of [[Archimedes and Pythagoras Vavasor]]. However, he died before the project was complete and the current whereabouts of the unfinished manuscript are uncertain.
  
 
{{#spoiler:show=Spoiler for THE TRUTH ABOUT ARCHIE AND PYE|
 
{{#spoiler:show=Spoiler for THE TRUTH ABOUT ARCHIE AND PYE|
 
In actual fact, the manuscript was almost certainly destroyed in the briefcase explosion that concluded [[Tom Winscombe]]'s successful bid to free [[Dorothy Chan]] from the [[Gretzky gang]].}}
 
In actual fact, the manuscript was almost certainly destroyed in the briefcase explosion that concluded [[Tom Winscombe]]'s successful bid to free [[Dorothy Chan]] from the [[Gretzky gang]].}}
  
==Writing Career==
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==Early Career==
  
 
Burgess first became known as the caption writer for ''[[Farm Girls Illustrated]]'', possibly the only top shelf magazine that also offered in-depth advice on what to do with a bent crankshaft on a Massey 35{{citation needed}}. From there, he progressed to feature writing, following which he was given the job of providing a more contemporary translation of ''[[The Harmonious Bower of the Nawab of Ouenq]]'', a legendary and deeply problematic work of early Victorian pornography.
 
Burgess first became known as the caption writer for ''[[Farm Girls Illustrated]]'', possibly the only top shelf magazine that also offered in-depth advice on what to do with a bent crankshaft on a Massey 35{{citation needed}}. From there, he progressed to feature writing, following which he was given the job of providing a more contemporary translation of ''[[The Harmonious Bower of the Nawab of Ouenq]]'', a legendary and deeply problematic work of early Victorian pornography.
  
The sequence of lawsuits that followed publication of Burgess's translation ensured that he remained virtually unemployable for several years after this, although he was eventually saved by the intervention of "Chicken Jim" Feltch, a pig farmer from Westonzoyland. It turned out that Feltch had fond memories of Burgess's work in ''Farm Girls Illustrated'', and was looking for a vehicle in which to invest the funds from the sale of his lower field. As it happened, Burgess had been toying with a particular long-cherished project but had all but given up any hope of implementing it.
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==The Wilderness Years==
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The sequence of lawsuits that followed publication of Burgess's translation ensured that he remained virtually unemployable for several years after this, although he was eventually saved by the intervention of [["Chicken Jim" Feltch]], a pig farmer from Westonzoyland in Somerset. It turned out that Feltch had fond memories of Burgess's work in ''Farm Girls Illustrated'', and was looking for a vehicle in which to invest the funds from the sale of his lower field. As it happened, Burgess had been toying with a particular long-cherished project but had all but given up any hope of implementing it.
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==Shroud of Ecstasy==
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Burgess's breakthrough book was a work of non-fiction, [[Shroud of Ecstasy]]. In this heavily-researched yet highly controversial book, he explored the new and unusual theory that the Turin Shroud was in fact the sheet from a bed in which Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene had consummated their passion. The image of a man's face had subsequently appeared on the sheet via a mechanism that Burgess christened [[orgasmic imprinting]].
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Burgess's publishers,
  
 
==Death==
 
==Death==
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'''As translator'''
 
'''As translator'''
* ''[[The Harmonious Bower of the Nawab of Ouenq]]''
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* ''[[The Harmonious Bower of the Nawab of Ouenq]] (Sharp/Practice, 2003)''
  
 
'''As author'''
 
'''As author'''

Revision as of 22:12, 13 May 2020

George Burgess was a Swindon-based writer of indifferent ability whose primary claim to fame was as the putative biographer of Archimedes and Pythagoras Vavasor. However, he died before the project was complete and the current whereabouts of the unfinished manuscript are uncertain.

Early Career

Burgess first became known as the caption writer for Farm Girls Illustrated, possibly the only top shelf magazine that also offered in-depth advice on what to do with a bent crankshaft on a Massey 35[citation needed]. From there, he progressed to feature writing, following which he was given the job of providing a more contemporary translation of The Harmonious Bower of the Nawab of Ouenq, a legendary and deeply problematic work of early Victorian pornography.

The Wilderness Years

The sequence of lawsuits that followed publication of Burgess's translation ensured that he remained virtually unemployable for several years after this, although he was eventually saved by the intervention of "Chicken Jim" Feltch, a pig farmer from Westonzoyland in Somerset. It turned out that Feltch had fond memories of Burgess's work in Farm Girls Illustrated, and was looking for a vehicle in which to invest the funds from the sale of his lower field. As it happened, Burgess had been toying with a particular long-cherished project but had all but given up any hope of implementing it.

Shroud of Ecstasy

Burgess's breakthrough book was a work of non-fiction, Shroud of Ecstasy. In this heavily-researched yet highly controversial book, he explored the new and unusual theory that the Turin Shroud was in fact the sheet from a bed in which Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene had consummated their passion. The image of a man's face had subsequently appeared on the sheet via a mechanism that Burgess christened orgasmic imprinting.

Burgess's publishers,

Death

Burgess's demise was unusual in that he was stabbed through the neck with a mathematician's compass.

List of Known Works

As translator

As author

Representation

Burgess's estate is - reluctantly - represented by Diana Cheeseman of the London agency of Cheeseman, Hollyfoot and Finch.