First of all, I’m assuming that everyone has already read Nik Perring’s “Not So Perfect“? If not, why not? Judging by the amount of coverage it’s had in the blogosphere and twittersphere, it should be selling by the bucketload, and it certainly deserves to. It’s about the size of a CD and doesn’t take much longer to read as it does to listen to one, but it punches way above its weight and the stories linger on long after you’ve finished reading it. My particular favourite (and I know that other reviewers have picked up on this one as well) is “My Wife Threw Up a Lemur”. This is a lovely piece of magical realism, which is never an easy genre to work in without tipping over into self-indulgence. But Perring knows exactly how far to push it and in doing so draws a picture of a relationship that is far more illuminating than a purely realistic description. Go and buy it if you haven’t already.

At the City of Derby last year, there were three of us in the running for prizes, but in reality it was a race for second place. The winning story (as it happens, another piece of superbly-handled magical realism) was so far ahead of the rest that I just sat back and enjoyed it when Gaby Pritchard read it out. She’s got a novel coming out under the name of Gabrielle Kimm later on this year and even though it’s historical fiction (which I’m usually not a fan of) I’m definitely going to get myself a copy. Check out that first paragraph. Gorgeous.

Finally, my favourite site at the moment is Good Show Sir – a real treat for fans of bad sci-fi and fantasy cover art. Soft targets, I know, but some of them are quite breathtakingly bad. They even sometimes get the author himself dropping in to comment. And as far as I’m aware, they’ve only made one serious mistake, and even then they were gracious enough to admit it when Toby pointed out the error of their ways.

Reading your work aloud is a skill that writers ignore at their peril, because it’s a massively important weapon in your marketing and promotion armoury. I’ve done maybe half a dozen live readings now and I think it’s fair to say that the quality has been somewhat variable, although I think I’m getting better with practice. I actually quite enjoy it, which helps, and I do intend to do more of it over the rest of the year.

And here are a couple of excellent examples of promotional readings done by a couple of other VWCers. First up is Julie Mayhew reading from “Red Ink” – although she is cheating just a little bit because she is, quite apart from being an immensely talented writer, a professional actress. Secondly, here’s Kevin Bennett reading from “Pike”. Kevin’s not a professional actor but still manages to imbue his reading with bucketloads of character – and he does some great voices towards the end, too. (By the way, both “Red Ink” and “Pike” are fantastic books and deserve to have someone publish them. There, I’ve said it.)

All in all, it’s been a decent enough year, though, even if I have no idea where any of it is leading. And it is really nice to see the readership for this blog building over the year – unless of course you are all Russian pornbots. Either way, I hope you’ll all stick around to see what happens in 2010. I’ll certainly be fascinated to find out, because frankly it could go anywhere. Or indeed nowhere at all.

In the meantime, I shall wish you all a merry whateveritisyoucelebrateornot and see you in a day or two’s time when I’ll probably be going on about this Saturday’s episode of Mrs Darcy vs The Aliens. You are keeping an eye on that, aren’t you?

Have fun!

[EDITED TO ADD: And after just over an hour of me being on Twitter, it goes offline. Coincidence? I DON'T THINK SO.]

Anyway, I’ll try to avoid the temptation to rabbit on about everything that’s happened since that first post, although it’s certainly been an interesting twelve months. It’s a bit more interesting to look forward to the future, because the real challenge starts now. Time to start writing something a bit more substantial, I think.

However, despite having plenty of time to let the mind wander, I didn’t manage to come up with as many ideas for stories (or even poems) as I’d hoped. I did manage to tie together most of the loose ends in one piece in time to finish it off in time for today’s deadline, but I’m still without either a story or a poem for Round Seven of the Whittaker Prize, and we’re over halfway through the fortnight.

As far as the Whittaker is concerned, I’m still (just) hanging on in sight of the leader in the story section, but things took a bit of a turn for the worse in the poetry in Round Six. I’d managed to lead the poetry section for the first five rounds, without really knowing how. And then I read this article about sonnets in the Independent, and I thought “Ooh, I’d like to write one of them”. So I did. And proceeded to come a serious cropper, scoring a stonking 59/100. However, on the bright side, it’s probably the first poem that I’ve ever written that Mrs P has really liked, which counts for quite a lot – especially as it is a love poem of sorts. Altogether now: aaah.

So let’s imagine that you’ve written a piece as part of a collaborative fiction venture, and you’ve created a character that you like and that you want to develop further. In fact, you’ve already written more about him, and you feel that you have something really interesting emerging here. But then, some nagging doubts are raised about the man’s – well – character. And finally someone else goes and uncovers his dark secret. What are you to do?

This is what happened next.

I’m not entirely sure where my sympathies lie here, to be honest. Douglas Bruton is a massively talented writer – he regularly wins decent competitions, and was shortlisted for the Bridport Prize last year. But, as one of the commenters says, I wonder if he’s being a little bit precious. After all, surely in a work of collaborative fiction, more than one perspective must be allowed? (In fact, I did this myself in my – so far – one and only contribution, by suggesting that Prospect Cottage might be in a slightly worse state of repair than previously indicated by the owner.)

Then again, I also have a vision of the other authors on the site marching with pitchforks and blazing torches towards where the poor character lives to administer mob justice, which doesn’t quite feel right, either.

Either way, a bit of controversy can’t be all that bad for Greyling Bay, can it? Go and have a read – it’s an interesting place.

HELLO!

to everyone else. Make yourselves comfortable. Look around. Tell your friends. I’m quite friendly really.

From: pinnock jonathan <pinnock.jonathan@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Feb 28, 2009 at 11:54 PM
Subject: Re: nob hill apt
To: [deleted]

Hello,

 How are you? Thanks for been interested in my apartment.My name is Rev Jonathan,Owner of the apartment you are making inquiry about,My apartment is still available for rent and it is located at:1030 Franklin St,San Francisco,CA 94109….I only need someone that can take good care of my apartment at my absence because,right now am not around to show you apartment as i  have gone for a MISSIONARY  WORK OF GOD IN WEST AFRICA .I want you to note that you will only be able to View the apartment from the outside because am here with the Keys and Document of my apartment,i tried to look for an agent before i left but couldn’t get any in time because i did not stay long in the apartment and was unable to look for a trust worthy person to give the keys to,If you know that you are ready to rent the apartment and have a good credential you can email me back to secure and occupy my apartment at my absent, all i want is for who will take very good care of the apartment as i will be gone for a very long time.Also i will like you to know that the rent charges is not really the issue, hope you are okay with the price of  $850 Per Month including utilities like water, gas, heat laundry facilities, air condition and so on, but your absolute maintenance of my apartment is most important thing, if you are really interested in renting this apartment get back to me by filling the application form below so that all arrangement can be made on how you will be getting the Keys and Document to move in.See Application Form below.

                   *********RENT APPLICATION FORM**********
                   *********PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL**********

1) Your Full Name.
2) Your Full Address
3)Phone Number
4) Citizen or Country ?
5) How old are you ?
6) Are you married ?
7) Sex ?
How many people will be living in the apartment?
9) Do you have a pet ?
10) Do you have a car ?
11) What is your Occupation ?
12) Short or Long Term Lease ?
13) When do you intend moving in : Date ?
14) When do you intend to moving out : Date ?
15) Deposit : One or Two month Deposit are required
16) Occupant Picture
17) Reference Details

Landing  33′1″ x 6′10″ ( 7.83m x 2.88m )
Reception room  27′1″ x 26′1″ ( 6.28m x 5.98m )
Kitchen  23′1″ x 21′1″ ( 4.96m x 4.45m )
Bathroom  7′20″ x 6′20″ ( 3.18m x 2.88m )
Guest WC  6′1″ x 3′20″ ( 2.62m x 1.96m )

I personally will actually come visiting you sometimes during when you have moved into my apartment. Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file in case of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you.  I can be reach anytime at +2348020671041 or 0112348020671041. Awaiting your reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys of the apartment to you.

Thanks and God Bless You
Regards
Rev Jonathan.