About this Site
My name's Jonathan Pinnock. I lead a dual life. In one half of this, I run a software development company called Jonathan Pinnock and Associates. If you've come here looking for that, here's where you need to go.However, if you've come here to find out about the other half of my life, as a writer of fiction and non-fiction, you've come to the right place.
If, on the other hand, you've arrived here by accident whilst searching for Japanese Tentacle Porn, I suggest you try using a different search engine.
If you'd like to contact me, my e-mail address is jon AT jpassoc DOT co DOT uk.
Books
Mrs Darcy versus the Aliens was published by Proxima Books in September 2011.
The Scott Prize-winning short story collection Dot(.), Dash(-) will be published by Salt in 2012.
May
12
Mrs Darcy, Episode Forty-Two
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So anyway, last night I was on the point of writing a post about how depressed I’d been feeling about writing ever since that poetry prize win. This might sound a bit peculiar on the face of it, but any of you who have seen the film “Clockwise” (scripted by the brilliant Michael Frayn) will probably recognise this quote:
It’s not the despair, Laura. I can stand the despair. It’s the hope!
Which kind of summarises the way I feel whenever I have any sort of (let’s face it) low-level success with my writing.
However, before I got around to writing a suitably long, self-indulgent and probably rather maudlin post, I had to finish today’s episode of Mrs Darcy, being the highly disciplined writer that I am. Well, for some values of “highly disciplined”, anyway. As things turned out, by the time I’d finished that, I was in a much better frame of mind and I decided to scrap the blog post. Which makes me wonder: is this thing for my benefit or the readers? It probably doesn’t matter. It does mean that at least one of us is having fun.
Anyway, in today’s episode, the ghost of Mary Ann Nicholls finally comes face to face with Wickham, but can’t do a lot about it, what with her being a ghost.
Unusual search terms so far this month for www.mrsdarcyvsthealiens.com: “sniffing feet episodio dilemma” and “lady catherine dogging”. I really do worry about people sometimes.
May
8
Mrs Darcy, Episode Forty-One
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I thought it was about time that Mrs Bennet made an appearance, even if only an epistolary one. I’m not entirely sure if this works, but I have this feeling that there would be a bit of the “You never call! You never write!” about her style. And I’m sure she would use a LOT of CAPITALS.
Meanwhile, the ruin of the Bingleys continues with the arrival of a Russian stranger on a fishing expedition. But what’s going on with Mary Bennet? Sadly, I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait several weeks to find out about that …
May
6
On Trampolines and Other Pointless Stuff
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Back in October of last year, I signed up to be a contributor to the3six5, a fascinating project which involved getting a whole range of people to write about their lives on a pre-specified day in 2010. And it so happened that it was my day yesterday.
Of course, as soon as I saw that it was coming up I panicked, trying to work out what on earth I could say about my day that might be of the slightest interest to anyone. And then I saw this obituary notice in the Independent. Isn’t that the best picture ever?
So I now had a hook for my piece, which soon mutated into something close to a personal manifesto. This, then, is essentially me saying Why I Write.
Wonder whatever happened to the poor kangaroo?
May
5
Mrs Darcy, Episode Forty
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And so Elizabeth returns to Pemberley. Her journey is livened up by a couple of eccentrics, one of whom we have met before and the other of whom we are unlikely to see again, unless I get really desperate. Amazing to think that we have reached forty episodes already, and I’m wondering if I should be preparing some kind of party for episode fifty, as that will mark the halfway stage of the saga. Anyone for jelly and ice cream?
May
4
Not So Much a Rough Guide
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I’d completely forgotten that I was due to be in PicFic today, with a piece of TwitFic entitled “Not So Much a Rough Guide”. Here’s how it appeared on Twitter, and here’s how it appears on PicFic’s blog. I first wrote this one for the final round of the NYC Midnight “Tweet Me a Story” contest, although I mangled the order of the words a bit at the first attempt and it duly failed to make any impact. It took a few more attempts to get it right. Amazing how tricky it can be to get 140 characters to behave themselves.
May
3
India Pics #3: Bollywood!
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I don’t usually listen to music when I’m writing, because it tends to interfere with my imagination. The only exception to this in my experience occurred when I wrote the first draft of my story “Mr Nathwani’s Haiku” in one burst whilst listening to an Asha Bhosle compilation. Well, there’s cultural tourism for you.
I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen any films where Asha Bhosle is singing on the soundtrack, which is something I really must rectify one of these days, because she has one of the most extraordinary voices on the planet. I think when I eventually get around to it I may well start with Caravan, because this clip, where she sings Piya Tu Ab To Aaja, is so utterly batshit crazy:
The music is a mad amalgam of everything John Barry and Ennio Morricone ever wrote, plus a whole load of other stuff including the cheesiest few notes ever played on a Hammond organ. And I really want to know what on earth is going on in that bizarre set (whose idea was the slide, for example?)
Actually, I’ll be honest: I’ve seen very few Bollywood films full stop. Last year, however, we watched Jodhaa Akhbar on the recommendation of one of Mrs P’s work colleagues, and it was probably one of the factors that swung us towards India for our hols. If you want epic cinema on the scale that Hollywood doesn’t do any more (and, no, CGI doesn’t count, I’m afraid), you can’t get much better than this (even though as far as I remember, it was pretty much ignored by the mainstream UK press when it came out). As it turned out, it was also a great way of preparing to visit Rajasthan, because the protagonists were both big players in the history of the area, and several of the places that we went to were key locations in the film (lovingly recreated in a Mumbai backlot).
So one of the things that we really wanted to do when we went to India was go and see a Bollywood film. We ended up going to the Raj Mandir in Jodhpur, which it turned out was one of the best cinemas in the whole of India. This is what it looked like from the outside:
And this is what it looked like inside:
They don’t build ‘em like that any more.
The film itself, Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge, was a comedy, and a fairly broad one at that, and it was pretty easy to work out what was going on most of the time (a fart joke being a fart joke in any language, after all) and there was a nice twist at the end. The central character was clearly a popular actor, because he got a round of applause when he first appeared. The only disappointment was the fact that there were relatively few song and dance numbers, but all in all it was an excellent evening out, and very cheap even in the ever-so-posh and ultra-comfortable diamond class seats.
May
1
Mrs Darcy, Episode Thirty-Nine
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So Wickham ends up isolated and ignored. But he does have a new assignment, providing an excellent opportunity to crowbar in a rather obvious reference. And what about Mrs Darcy? Find out next Wednesday!